Covid-19 has brought many challenges, including how we celebrate and honor our loved ones who have died during this very ever-changing time. Funeral rites and rituals have had to be significantly altered since the beginning of the pandemic due to safety concerns. Though perhaps not traditional for your faith or culture, with an adaptive mindset, it is still possible to honor loved ones during this unknown time.

Alter a Traditional Funeral

• Use the inside of a church/temple with mask guidelines social distancing in every other pew or row.
• Pay respects at the casket only one person at a time.
• Spread family out instead of a receiving line.
• Virtually live-stream or broadcasted on a Zoom call so that people can pay respects from near or far.
• Drive-by condolence processions, Drive-In style ceremonies and Drive-By viewings so that people can safely show support from a distance.
• Wakes or post-funeral receptions can be held outside, under large tents and space heaters to accommodate weather, with appropriate seat distancing and guest number allowance.

Hold an Anniversary or Birthday Memorial

You may choose to forgo a traditional funeral at this unknown time, but that doesn’t mean the opportunity is lost. If you are feeling a lack of resolution, pick another meaningful day in the coming months to have a memorial. This could be anything from a memorial dinner to a formal memorial service – decide what works for you. A memorial can actually allow an opportunity for more family and friends to attend as the pandemic restrictions allow.

Create a New Tradition

The process of creating a tradition can be meaningful. It may be a tradition of volunteering in memory of your loved one, visiting somewhere meaningful to your loved one, creating an annual family dinner in your loved one’s honor,  or anything else that seems right for you. Creating this tradition can be a way to grieve together, if you choose to involve others. It can also become a way to thoughtfully say goodbye and remember your loved one every year.

Adapt Jewish Rites and Rituals

• A smart phone is mounted onto a tripod at the gravesite and most mourners attend via Zoom.
• Instead of a shovel to pour earth onto the coffin, each person brings a disposable cup. If the cemetery only allows few attendees, someone can recite the names of the primary family members as the dirt is poured over the grave, giving a small sense of inclusion.
• Some clergy have used the spotlight feature on Zoom if someone attending virtually and wants to read a eulogy or play a special role in the ceremony.
• Instead of a communal sitting or Shiva for a week in observance of the deceased, mourners can be encouraged to burn a candle in the safety of their own home.

Create a Personal Ceremony at Gravesite

People often have different feelings about visiting the gravesite. Some people visit daily or weekly, and others never visit a grave. This is a very individual experience and there is no “right or wrong”. There are many meaningful rituals that can bring comfort. Pick a day that is meaningful to your loved one to plan something significant at the gravesite. You may wish to invite a few, socially distant others and turn this into a time of cleaning the gravesite, decorating, planting flowers, sharing stories and saying goodbye.